Imagine there’s no Heaven

So I blame it all on Jim Wright.

First he wrote a blog entry on racism that turned my stomach and made me realize that no matter how much I think I am a jaded, bitter, bitch who can never be surprised at the foul reality of stupid people today… I am a sheltered San Franciscan naif who knows not the depths to which they can stoop. Or slither. Or tunnel. I couldn’t even look at half the shit he referenced. Because I am afraid that no matter how bad I might think they will be (and then mentally double it for insurance), I expect that the reality is worse.

But that is what Jim does, and he does it very well.

But then, because I am sortof a fangirl of his, I was looking at his Facebook page on Thanksgiving while the bread was baking and he made a reference to an old WKRP in Cincinnati episode where they drop the turkeys from the helicopter. Which is not only one of the best moments of that show, but possibly one of the funniest moments on TV evar! So I had to find it online and watch it again. And post it on Facebook so everybody else could watch it again. And it got me thinking about how good that show was, and how it was a predecessor to current shows like Parks and Rec, and how maybe the kids would like it. Which naturally made me look to see if it was available on DVD. (The answer is a disappointing sort of, in that it is there, but cut and redubbed with bad alternative music because of rights issues. Which sucks.)

But anyway, I was thinking about the show and that got me to thinking about other moments in the show that were awesome. And I remembered the one where the intolerant preacher was trying to get the station to censor itself, and at the end Mr. Carlson quoted John Lennon’s “Imagine” to him and asked if that song should be censored. Or course he said yes, and then Mr. Carlson said that the song only asked one to IMAGINE no heaven, and basically threw the guy out.

I was about 10 years old when I saw that episode. Give or take. Now naturally I was also ME at the time, so there was no real question about which side of the issue I came down on. But the thing is that there was no real question about which side most people watching the show came down on. And since this was the late 70’s and there wasn’t much to watch, pretty much everybody watched everything that was on. I don’t know about the nation as a whole, but it seemed to me at the time that, Moral Majority notwithstanding, MOST of us were moving in the right direction. It seemed like bigotry and censorship and such idiocy were dying out. It seemed pretty settled. From my little vantage point in the redwoods of northern California it was apparent that although there was a long way to go, we were at least on the path.

Lately I look around and I’m wondering what happened. I mean most people I know, most people I like or interact with in any way have come down the path with me. But it seems like a whole lot of people not only didn’t come along, they walked the other way. And dug a moat. And stocked it with alligators.

Also they seem to have bred more than we did. And homeskoold there childern.

And somebody let them on the internet. Dammit. How did THAT happen?

So there is this vast mass of people over on the other side of that moat, and they keep lobbing Bibles at us. Bibles that seem to be written in ALL CAPS without spellcheck, or a basic grasp of grammar. And seem to contain whole passages of Ayn Rand. And apparently the Bible contains a lot of verses about Nazis. Nazis who were also communists. AND socialists. Or something. I admit I only read the Bible once in college at UC Santa Cruz, so that was probably not a very accurate copy of the King James… so maybe I am remembering it wrong, but I don’t remember a single bit about Hitler. I thought I remembered something about Jesus loving poor people, but that was probably the commie propaganda the leftist liberal elite professors put in.

So they are over there. And they seem to have most of the guns. And it is scary and sad and makes me wonder if we are heading back into the dark ages.

And then I think maybe it is just the death throes of the beast. There may not be a LOT more of us than there are of them, but there do seem to be a few more. And there are a whole lot of people… sortof on the banks. Folks who may not be comfortable with coming all the way… but who REALLY don’t like the thought of being one of the crazies either. And it makes me hope. Just a little. Because the louder they get, and the bigger and more elaborate their tinfoil hats are, maybe it will make enough other people just want to walk AWAY! Slowly, so they don’t get pelted with dung, but away.

Because hey, I’ve got kids too. And they are not only sane, they can spell.


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