Archive for March, 2013

Don’t mess with Gandalf. She’ll cut you, man…

Posted in Uncategorized on March 22, 2013 by Misanthropic Mom's Group

Tuki is furious at a boy in her class. His sin? He has dissed Gandalf.

Yes, this boy has had the effrontery to insist strongly that Harry Potter is a better wizard than Gandalf. I won’t go into the details, mostly because I wasn’t really listening, but she is seriously reconsidering the prospects of any sort of long term friendship with this boy.

Also, he doesn’t know who Mace Windu is. She has informed him that he simply cannot be a proper geek if he doesn’t even know his Star Wars canon. I didn’t point out to her that Episodes 1-3 are rather the New Testament of Star Wars. Or the Book of Mormon. She was far too caught up in her disdain to listen to the finer points of distinction. I forgot to tell her to ask him who shot first. The wrong answer to that one might justify shunning.

I think she is particularly disappointed because this is a boy with whom she bonded over Dr. Who. He has the distinction of having actual British parents. His birthday party at school was looked forward to for weeks. They got to have fish and chips at lunch. Fish fingers and custard would have been cuter, but less edible. She was a bit put off by the deep fried Oreo they had for dessert, though. I haven’t had the heart to break it to her yet that British cuisine is not all high tea and digestive biscuits. She has yet to experience the horror of a boiled dinner and trifle.

Anyhow, she is annoyed because not only is he obviously and patently wrong about Gandalf (I have assured her that this is, indeed, the case), but he refuses to let it go. In the traditional fashion of 10 year old boys everywhere, he insists on going on and on about it. And using such tried and true forms of rhetoric as, “Gandalf is a big dummy.”

So after agreeing with her that not only is he simply wrong, but that he was using bad arguments, I did point out to her that he was almost certainly just trying to keep her attention. Because she is pretty. She paused for a moment and then said, “Yeah, I sorta figured that out.”

“IT IS SO ANNOYING!”

I told her that she had best get used to it, because it was going to be something she will have to cope with until she is at least 45. Being a card carrying geek isn’t enough to get out of it, I’m afraid. You just attract a slightly better class of admirer. If somewhat less well groomed.

Then she asked the question of the ages. “Why are boys so STUPID???!!!???”

Oh my dear, if I only knew the answer to that one…

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I like tea

Posted in Uncategorized on March 3, 2013 by Misanthropic Mom's Group

I have a microwave in my bedroom. Honestly, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t. I can’t imagine how I survived for so long without one. Now the reason I have a microwave in the bedroom is that when we moved in I already had a microwave, and this apartment came with one. So we had two. This apartment also has two floors. My bedroom is upstairs. The kitchen is downstairs.

I like tea.

I like tea a rather lot actually. Sadly I like tea in a way that tea snobs shudder at. If you’ve ever been to a dedicated tea shop, you have met a tea snob. They are the ones who explain how the pot should be rinsed with hot water first, and you use just EXACTLY this much tea… and the water should be cold before it goes into the kettle (preferably bottled mineral water from an alpine spring), and then heated to exactly this temperature, and then the tea is steeped for exactly this long and blah blah blah…

I make tea in the microwave.

I take the cup that I keep in my bedroom and I briefly rinse the remaining tea dregs out of it with the bathroom tap. Then I fill it up with water. From the tap. Sometimes it is cold water, sometimes it is warmish. I don’t particularly care. I put the cup of water in the microwave (in my bedroom), toss in a tea bag from the box I keep on top of the microwave, hit the quick start button three times to get a minute and a half, and I’m done.

When I say I’m done, sometimes I am actually done. As in I manage to forget during that minute and a half that I actually made tea. Generally I am reminded by the beeping, but I usually don’t run over to take it out right away because it is too hot. And then I forget. Sometimes I forget for so long that I forget that I’ve even made tea. At some point I will think to myself, “I want tea” and I will look for my cup. Desk? No. Bedside table? No. Bathroom sink? No.

I have learned that the inability to spot the cup generally means that it is in the microwave already.

Full of tea.

Sometimes the tea is still warm. Sometimes it is not. Either way my response is the same. Toss the teabag and drink it anyway.

I think you really really have to like tea to take a sip of a cup in which the teabag has been steeping for 12 hours and think, “That’ll do.”

Pansy tea snobs.