He said

How could you tell people?!, he said. How could you?

Don’t you see how this will affect my career? How it will take food out of our children’s mouths?

Now everyone will know I’ve had an affair, he said. Our son will be treated differently at school. Kids will tell their parents.

How could you!

How can you ask me never to see her again, he said. It just makes you look needy, and unreasonable besides. She is offering me connections that put my career in high gear and put food on your table. Can you offer that? I thought not, he said.

How could you invade my privacy by looking at the call history on my phone, he said.

I told you I wasn’t in contact with her to spare your feelings, and now I find you don’t even trust me? I’ll have you know it is strictly business. At least on my side. I admit she might want more, but I need to keep the relationship open for now because something is going to break on the job front soon. I can feel it. I am really disappointed in you, though.

You spied on me, he said.

You have no idea what kind of hell I am going through, he said. I’ve had to try to keep the pregnancy secret from you until the end of the school year, for the sake of the children. But now you know and you want me to make a decision? Why can’t you see that I can’t make a decision, he said. How can you do this to me.

I did it for the sake of the children, he said. She has money and connections and she can help me be what I need to be. To take care of the children, he said. To take care of you and the children.

You never supported me, he said. You always had to point out when I was wrong, show me up in front of people. I could never take you anywhere, he said. You are like a loaded cannon that might go off at any moment and say anything. You made me take away the children’s kitten. You chose it over me. You needed to learn a lesson, he said.

She is really trying, he said. She will get an apartment nearby, and also pay for your rent and expenses. She wants to help me find myself. And I could still come every night to help with homework and tuck them in at night. He said can’t you for just one moment think of the children?

How can you ask me to leave my own home, he said. I’m confused and alone and have nowhere to turn.

I am going away for a few weeks he said. I need to earn money, and my sister will pay me to paint her house. It will clear my head. By the way, don’t answer the door for a while. She is acting strangely lately. She says she sent me a box of financial documents and that you signed for them. She says she has reported you to the FBI for identity theft. I wouldn’t worry about it, he said. Just don’t open the door.

I can’t believe you would say it is over, he said. Over, just like that? What about the children? They are My children. How can someone like you provide for them?  Do you have a single thought in your head about their future?

There is someone new? It seems rather sudden, he said.

It is so incredible to see you again, he said. I can’t believe we’ve been living so close for two years and didn’t even know.

I would like to take you out, he said. I’d like to take you sailing, and to a movie, and to dinner. We have so many years to catch up on.

Your children are lovely, he said. I see so much of you in them. Why does that make you cry?

I loved you the first time I saw you, he said, but I thought you were hopelessly out of reach. And when you loved me back, it was terrifying. I was young and stupid. Not even 21.

Remember your 21st birthday, I said. I’ve never forgotten a moment of it, we both said together.

You should never have broken up with me that first time, I said. Young and Stupid, remember, he said.

You should never have left me that last time, he said. And I should never have let you go.

No, I said. You shouldn’t.

I never forgot you, I said. You were my secret talisman, The Boy Who Truly Loved Me. You were proof that I wasn’t always worthless. I remembered every special song, every book you introduced me to, every time you held my hand like it was made of spun sugar.

I tried to forget you, he said. You married some successful guy and had gorgeous kids. You were happy.

I wasn’t happy, I said. I was lost.

And I never managed to forget you, he said. Not really.

I never stopped loving you, I said.

I never loved anyone else, he said. So where do we go from here?

Anywhere, I said. So long as it is together.

I’ve waited long enough, I said. The divorce is final and I want to marry you right now. Today. For my birthday. That sounds perfect, he said. In our own living room with the kids and the cats because nothing else matters.

I can’t do it this weekend, he said on the phone. I’ve promised my son we’d play X-wing tonight, and then tomorrow our kids are both playing in a concert. Yeah, they both play rock music at a special school. I’m a pretty lucky dad. I get to drink a pint and listen to music at my kids’ events. You should definitely check it out.

I ask a question with my eyes, does he want to go out with friends? His eyes answer there is no place he’d rather be than home with you and my family. Today and forever.

He said, whats for dinner?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: